10-in-1

dunno for wat reason, ive been having slpless nites... and slpin pills seriously doesnt help much.. ppl tht noes me well would be shock to hear me saying this cos im the kinda person tht i can slp anywhere anytime i want.. its really up to me.. haha..

a friend strike me hard today that ive changed so much... im no longer the person he noes in the past.. and my laughter? seems to vanish.. wats the cause? haha, i dunno? as we grow, there seems to be more things becoming more n more complicated. who doesnt want to hang a smile at all times, its just a question of are we capable of letting go of the unhappy stuffs and get on with life.. i feel tht my life's a mess now and i dont noe wat to do bout it..

its not tht i didnt seek help.. i told my frend, but soon i realise, no point... i want solutions, not comfort.. but still i thank her for her concern...some1 told me 'if u have 1kg of unhappiness.., and u tell it to someone, tht person will carry 500g of ur unhappiness n u'll only be carring 500g instead of the original 1kg'.. alrite ppl, tell me if its true...

seriously to me, it doesnt help much.. i dont always get solutions, so wats the pt? i tell u, u cant help too.. haha.

and nobdy understand me, i can really say this... if any1 can say they do, they are lying... i dont myself, how can any1? my frend told me tht im a 10-in-1.. im a combination of 10 personality.. scary uh... u wun noe when is which... hahhhh.....

i can be a sweetie pie, an introvert, a sunshine for those ard me, a real-bad-temper person, a fierce b**ch... bla bla bla....so if ure thinkin of making me mad..., it better be ur lucky day.. cos u wouldnt noe its the last nerve tht yor stepping on... lol ((: .... and the list goes on... even if any1 really thinks that they understand me, WHICH 1? hahh...ive got 10 !!!! interesting uh !

hmmm today my post abit emo ah.... haha..

anyway... i wore my new shirt today.. ! haha, thks to proj o peeps, its my bday pressie.. ((:

but its tight fitting and im not used to it ever since i enter fb .. haha

neway... who cares? as long as it looks nice on me... lols....

nite ppl ! ((:

so much things, so lil time

today's boring... haha..
when i was on my way to nyp just now, i tot about alot of things den i came to realise tht our danceworks's concept has alot of loopholes, here and there... this and that... all doesnt link at all.. yes, we might have alot of fanciful stuffs, like doing a production, but, no point when the theme and the story is not there...
so... sigh... decided to scrape off everything and have our "1st" meeting this sunday..
so much things to do, so lil time...
from now, there is about 4 months left to the competiton, but cut this cut that.... chinese new yr, christmas, need to do projects, need to work...
minus off everything, we left a FREAKING 2.5 mths... and know wat? 1 wk mit 1 time..., 2.5 mths will be...10 MEETINGS ONLY... and we need to source for costumes, make props..., choro, synchro... whoaaaaa really, so much to do... just by listing them down, i can feel the stress... lols...
im nt tryin to say i dun wann win, of cos i want to ! but i'd want to make an impactful 1... IF ! IF really we didnt win, i'd also want to make every1 rem us.. like fb's crafty code =D

Alrite, now lets move on to another issue

i have a frend, shall address him as W here, W is in love with a girl, deeply i can say... till the point that every movement she makes, everything she says..., can impact and hit him so hard.
W used to be a cheerful and carefree guy.. but nowdays, it seems like he dun like to be ard ppl, likes to be alone... is loving a person suppose to be like this? SUFFERING? i dun think so ?
although that person doesnt respond to ur affection, but is this the way to deal with it?

W, when u do something for the person u love, dun expect anything in return, if she does, den thts a bonus... if she doesnt, so be it.. u did it on ur own will... even if the others who didnt do n giv as much as u do to her..., but she cares for them more, u cant complain too... u gotta accept it... if u fail this time, dun get dejected, take it as a stepping stone for ur next relationship..

if yor reading this now... pls wake up ur idea...
stop being the way u r now, cos u might not know, the way u r now is a total turn off to her... i mean im just guessing... u nvr noe.. maybe its ur carefree self that she likes better.. really no point being so emo everytime.. i noe u cant help it, but hey... its not going to do u any good... get back up on ur feet !
u dun nid her to live ur life... DO U ?!?! every1 wld really like to see the old u..
im nt trying to teach u a lesson or scold u.. just want u to noe the facts of life...
it works this way and u cant do anything...

the pic on top says it all.. she took ur hrt....

smiles

=D

hahaha.. these 2 nvr fails to make me laugh.. =D

proj o dance exam

'giving u exams is not to fail u' the 1st thing tht ryan came into the studio n told us.

and yes, i agree.. but we cant help it to feel nervous n stress although we are already sure of our steps..no confident maybe ??

during the exam, all went well..errr.... at least i think so?

after the exam, ryan told us tht the choro n skills are not the most imp thing, and when he commented on us, he didnt touch on the choro AT ALL..

he told us that attitude is the most imp thing.. if we have the right attitude, it can bring us very far, and nvr to go after fame only.. cos u might get it, but before u know it, its gone.

but ur attitude will help u in the long run, ppl will find u when they need dancers or instructors. ppl will look up to u, they trust u...n u'll be of great influence to many...

come to think of it, yea.. indeed it plays a bigger part den dance skills...

((: lesson learnt.sad to say, after this exam,some have to leave us...=(

and chun will also be going to new york for dance.. =((

but.................................. yeah !!! ryan got me my fave newurbanmale bag... woaaaa !! thks so much da ge !! LOVES.. hahahahahahahhahahaha

alrite i think i sld end here.. gd nite ppl.. !

((:

LOVES

im being force to write this.. the 1 in red in this pic is the 1 im gonna tok bout now.............

ok, i have a friend.. she is alil bit of irritating, alil bit of ugly, alil bit of unglam, alil bit of all the bad things tht a ger doesnt want.

introducing ..........................

EUGENIA !!!

this stupid friend of mine is also...errr.... fair? looks like china woman? talks very loud and can seriously talk alot..? MEATY..? hahahahahahahahaha

oops.. lols

okie... im here to blog on how much i love her... and thts wat she wanns to see..

so eug, u better read carefully k?

i love u....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

so much... go count the dots and multiply them by 1000,000000

and u'll noe hw much i love u.. haha...

although i wrote so much bad stuffs bout u..., but yar....

not all is true but yet not all is fake too..

but neway... i still love u like the mice love big rice.. haha

i make this post so colourful just for u.. =D heeeeeeeeeeee

so u better smile like u kid when u read this..

thank god

This pic is taken on his wedding dinner..

hmmm shall tel u ppl alil bout my life.. in sec sch, ppl address me as 'ah lian' and yes i have to admit that i was once that type of person.. but when i was in sec 3, sch hired a dance instructor for us(dance club) and this guy really change my life..

i used to go sch for only 2-3 days a week but after he came.. i go to sch everyday.. without fail, unless im really sick.. yea..

he transformed me from an 'ah lian' to a 'good girl' its not only dance tht he taught us, he taught me alot of things bout life, character building and is always there to encourge me... i could say, hes the ONLY ONE till now tht if he raise his voice at me, i wun gt angry , i wun argue back becos i noe he have my interst at hrt.. we always call each other da ge and xiao mei.. and i really like this relationship with him and i dont wannt lose it.. i want this relationship to be long term..., i want to cling on to him... even when i gt married, i wann to invite him and his wife down ..

from my instructor, he becomes my mentor, to my 'brother'.. everytime when i am troubled, no nid ask, he'll noe what im stressing about and he'll lead me and help me out...

i really thank god for him, cos if without him, i will not go back to church and expirence god again.. god sent him into my life.

((:

he's ryan the oldman.

foul mood--------super gd mood

ppl ! im back.. lols.. hmmm i woke up on the wrong side of bed today.. and was feelin terrible..

as in bad mood... mum's non stop hits added on to my misery.. damnnnn.. lol

cos its friday, so imsuppose to go cell group, but yea... down with flu =( n dad's afraid tht it'll spread to the other members, so didnt allow me to go..., so i went to nyp to dance...

initially.., i tot there'll only be like me, tyron and baoxin, but who noes when i reach there... whoa... there was bout 10 ppl inside the studio and cz's grp was discussing outside studio.. and i din even noe tht we have a studio to use... lols.

den i was very happy cos seniors not ard, den can play and freestyle all the way... haha

and yupps... i freestyle-ed and yeah im glad tht baoxin said it was gd !!! wwwwoooooaaaaaaaa

haha... imma like rrrreeeaaallllyyyyyyyy heeeeiiiippppppeeeeeeeeee uuu nnnoooeeee.. haha

ok, im just being irritating..

im off to bed... wooooooooooooooooooo

JezzzzZZzZZzZzzZ. haha

*thinkin bout hws eugenia doin today, hope she gets better each day, yea.. thts y i uploaded her pic with me. lol*

thunder n lighting are idiots !

hmmm lets see.. im doin this cos im so bored.. yea.
haha.. im stuck at home cos its raining, im suppose to visit eugenia, but cant.., due to the rain
and stupid thunder,i cant go.. the thunder keep scaring me !@#$%^&*&^#@#$%^ i proclaim.. i HATE thunder n lighting.. they sneak up on ppl's back to scare the hell outta them. >=(

alrite.. im bored, think i sld prac my exam piece now..
=)
BB...

just for u

alrite.., the 1st pic is myself, den the rest is with eug..

sth happened to this frend of mine recently tht breaks my hrt alot..

sigh.. neway...............

eugenia,
im sry for all tht we've done to you..

and i really really hope u'll get well soon

anything, and i really mean anything, u need me..., let me noe..

im only a phone call away...

hope u'll recover from all the hurts tht we've caused...

both mentally n emotionally..

love u..

X's the baddie

everyday's bout the same..i rem always tellin ppl tht i will never have a blog, cos i dun like to blog n write bout myself and let every1 noes bout wats happening to me.
haha.. but this time... im nt sure either..., but i just feel like it, mayb cos ive been taggin n complaining in someone's blog and reading posts from my ex"sister"s blogs.. tht strike me tht mayb i sld start 1 n trash everything out here.. haha, since i cant flare up? lols
anyway, these few weeks, a couple of incidents happened, im nt sure to say its for gd, or bad..., just how i look at it i guess..
Frends.. haha ppl reading this now..., mayb u'd like to try this b4 u slp tonite...
just before u shut off ur mind, take a min to think of the ppl ard u whome they call themselves 'ur frends'... are they really ur frends? not just by hanging out tgt, having fun crapping ard, have the same intrest means u guys are frends... alrite... yes mayb just frends... ok, hw bout true frends? they address u as 'bro' or 'sis'... do u really think they r tht true? true frends means much more den tht...
just afew months ago..., just becos of 1 person, ive lost a grp of girlfrends whome i tot are my 'true frends' we shared the gd n bad times tgt, we shared our probs, everything , i could say... yes, no other frends are able to replace them NOW.. but im sure im goanna have better frends.. im nt sure why tht particular girl,alrite, call her X, im nt sure y wld X wanna do this to me,she bad mouth me bout sth i DIDNT SAY N DO to my closest gerfrend among them and wth?!?! she believe X.. and was super duper uber angry with me.. i did nth to her.. and in msn, X's so fake to the extend tht she can nudge me say 'ehs sister, u missing ah? y so long nvr find us? miss u lehs' haha? im like... hello~ u bad mouthed me.. ReMeMbEr?!?!?! haha...
wanted very much to sort things out.. and ask y did she do this to me... but, wats the pt anyway? even if im able to settle it this time, there will still be another time... so i just kept my cool and replied 'im fine.., i hope yor gd too., tc'
and tht frend who believe in her..., seriously..., im very pissed and sad and disappointed with u.. u are the 1 tht i dote on the most, the 1 i will go all out for.. even my bf dun gt such gd treatment.. in the past, everytime u r angry with me for dunno wat reasons, u scold me, u ignore me, i'd hoax u and try to make u happy..., but now.... nops... GO TO HELL N FEED ON UR OWN SHIT, U BRAINLESS KID ! u mentioned tht u dun wanna see me again? well, fine den..., i'll make sure in the end, i'll be the 1 simling n u'll be the 1 regretting.... ((: and a piece of advice for u, stop living the life yor having now..
phew... ok, im done with her issue... haha...
i actually just wake up to pee... but got the sudden urge to blog.. so yer... think im gonna go back to slp now..
this might be the first n last post tho. ((:
loves, JezZ